


Get Help

by LimeOfMagicLimo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28669788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LimeOfMagicLimo/pseuds/LimeOfMagicLimo
Summary: Anonymous asked: I dont know if you take writing prompts, but consider ; sirius and regulus doing "get help"
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Get Help

Regulus was cursing himself for ever going to Sirius with this. Okay - that was a lie. There was nobody else he’d rather rob the Gringotts with than his brother. 

* * *

Bellatrix had taken Regulus to her vault a couple times when he was younger, to help her pick jewelry to wear on social events or to gift to Cissa. He knew all the obstacles he would have to face to steal the Horcrux, if he was right and Voldemort truly entrusted Bellatrix with one. 

There were the **Probity Probes** that detected concealing charms, enchantments, magical concealments and hidden magical objects. Bellatrix was in the habit of scoffing at the Goblins probing her and making them twice as thorough, to spite her. The **Thief’s Downfall** , a waterfall that canceled all enchantments and magical concealments the Probity Probes might have missed. **The dragon** chained by the vault was not much of an issue as the sound of a Clanker could be imitated quite easily. The **Genimo** and **Flagrante** curses were not troublesome to him as he had Bellatrix’s blanket permission to touch.

Breaking into Bellatrix’s vault therefore boiled down to looking like Bellatrix without using magical means.

Regulus had gritted his teeth and went to the one person he knew who had fooled around with muggle make-up enough to pull that off.

Of course, Sirius had wanted to come along. Which would be fine, useful even.

* * *

If Sirius weren't a _bloody Gryffindor_.

* * *

So here they were; Regulus on the verge of an aneurysm, clutching at the straps of the bag with the Horcrux-ed Cup of Helga Hufflepuff, Sirius gleeful with his make-up smudged to the kingdom come and wig long lost, _the dragon on the loose,_ and the three Lestranges blocking the only exit from the currently deserted Main Hall. Deserted because there was a _fucking dragon on the loose._

“What are we going to do? Bellatrix will want to have you for herself and she will require all of your attention; I can take on Rabastan or Rodolphus but not both at the same time,” Regulus whispered, watching the three Death Eaters from the safety of one of the great pillars in the Hall.

Sirius grinned, because he was a lunatic who craved death by the hand of his relative. If that relative was his cousin or his brother was quickly becoming a 50/50 bet. “Let’s do Get Help.”

“What? No. We’re not doing Get Help,” Regulus whispered back furiously. There was no way the stupid trick from their childhood would work.

“C'mon it’s _great_ , it works every time,” Sirius edged, because he truly wanted to be brutally murdered. Could Regulus hex the obnoxious prat and pretend he was stopping him from robbing the bank?

“No, it’s barmy,” he protested.

“Do you have a plan?”

“No.”

“We’re doing it.”

“We’re not doin-” But Sirius already grabbed his arm and pulled it over his shoulder. Sighing in defeat, Regulus let his head roll back and slumped against the utter idiot he had the ~~dis~~ pleasure of calling his brother.

“GET HELP! PLEASE! MY BROTHER IS _DYING!_ ” Sirius yelled in pretended panic as he quickly dragged Regulus across the Main Hall. Regulus was shuffling his feet subtly to make it easier for him.

Before Bellatrix and her cronies could realise what even was going on, Sirius’ hand dropped from Regulus’ arm to his chest and in a show of impressive strength, he sent the younger brother flying through the air. Regulus collided with all three Lestranges, knocking them down like pins. As he rolled to his knees, he heard Sirius shoot three _Stupefy_ s in quick succession.

“A classic,” the twat grinned, and offered Regulus a hand.

“Humiliating,” Regulus muttered as he heaved himself to his feet.

Sirius just grinned brighter.


End file.
